Five Minute Friday: Comfort

Another Five Minute Friday  this week.  Five minutes of writing, no editing. 

This week: Comfort.

START

Comfort.  Such a cozy word in itself.  Doesn't everyone long for comfort as some point or another?  Especially when things are difficult, needing comfort, desiring calm.  But I've been pondering lately that maybe I desire comfort a bit to often.  Maybe I'm being called to be uncomfortable.  Maybe in the uncomfortable is where growth happens.  Life change, overcoming fear, maturity, refinement.  None of them are really comfortable, are they?  So maybe in the lack of comfort is sometimes the best place to be.  

And yet I find that I'm often praying for comfort, health, safety.  Not that these are bad things by any means. But is that really what I want?  Or do I want to grow?  Be a catalyst?  Be a difference?  If so, maybe I need to loosen my grip on comfort and step out of my box a bit more.  Not recklessly and wildly, yet of course, letting go of any grip there is a risk to it.  

And then comfort becomes what it needs to be. Not a safe place to haven in for all of life, but a refuge to breathe and rest. 

STOP

Five Minute Friday: Brave

This is my first time joining Five Minute Friday.  Essentially, five minutes of writing, words flowing to the keyboard and onto the screen, no editing.   Why am I so nervous?

Today's FMF topic: Brave.

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Brave. 

When I read the word, or hear the word. His name comes to mind first.  Our Little Lion.

Quite possibly the bravest I've ever met.  Although, he doesn't know it.

He can't see it.  But I can.  I can see the brave beneath.  The brave behind the fear.

The battle that happens when he wants to quit, the fear behind his eyes, the battle to be brave and not let the fear win.  

He has struggled with fear since the day we met.  Breaks my heart.  But I see his courage. I see how brave he really is.  I want to shout it to the mountains how brave my boy is, what he's overcome.  But I whisper it in my heart, I pray he will realize his braveness and tell him while he sleeps and while he struggles.

I see how he dons his favorite "C is for Courage" shirt as if it gave him the super powers to be brave in the days that are more daunting.  And I smile, because I know he doesn't need the shirt.  

STOP

Brothers.

Wordless Wednesday

Clutter Be Gone

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I saw Money Saving Moms Clutter-Busting Challenge and thought it was a simple challenge to help relieve some of the material chaos happening around here.  We are wrapping up our school year so its a great time to go through curriculum, supplies and paper clutter as well.

As much as I try to make a conscious choice about what we bring into our home and things we choose to keep (school work etc.) to try to avoid clutter, inevitably it happens.

7 items each day in May.  Sold, donated, given a new home or tossed.

If you're interested in joining along in cutting the clutter, you can head over to Money Saving Mom every afternoon for her update on the challenge.  I can't say I will be posting pictures every day but there will definitely be less clutter around here.

Wordless Wednesday: Skipping Stones

There is water in Colorado!  These Midwesterners were delighted to see this stream, even if only for the afternoon and we were able to teach the kids the fine art of skipping stones.

More Wordless Wednesday

Processing.

It's been quiet in my tiny corner of the blogging world.  I've been processing, starting many a blog posts in my head and never quite getting to type it.  Things have been...hmmm...interesting around here.

I won't lie: we've hit some low lows lately. Thankfully they've been scattered with some great breakthroughs and wonderful family time.

I've done plenty of not processing through everything going on because it just seemed too overwhelming, but now that things have settled (at least for a bit) it's easier to think through it all.

One thing weighing on my mind lately is our Sprocket.  He'll turns 3 next week. I'm excited to celebrate him, to think through the journey he's had in the last 3 years, to think about the miracle that is his life, and as always with our younger boys (especially on birthdays), to think about and pray for his birth mother.  I wonder what he would've been like as a babe, how he would've felt to hold so small and if his feet were as big in proportion to his body as they are now.

But this birthday has thrown me for a loop more than I anticipated.  I guess his "delays" are more evident to me now that he's growing and he's just not a baby anymore.

He doesn't have any idea his birthday is coming. Even if we explain, he doesn't understand gifts or cake or the like.  If I ask him his favorite things or what he'd like to do or receive, it doesn't even come close to registering.

His journey is one of mystery.  And mothering this sweet one is an entirely different experience for me.

It's been a growing journey for me.  Amazing and challenging.  Overall, I'm thankful for his struggles.  It has bonded us, helped me celebrate the smallest of milestones, gave me heed to slow down and be present, taught me to find joy in the challenging situations and has made me more compassionate.

Sometimes, though, I'm just sad.  Because while he has come a long way and his needs are not nearly as bad as some, there is a vast difference in what he experiences and understands compared to other kiddos his age.

And I guess in the end I'm realizing it's okay to feel sad and maybe it's a necessary part of my mothering journey.

I've never parented a child with these kind of needs and I don't have mom friends who do either.  This is new to me and sometimes I'm not sure how to feel, or what is "okay" to feel. I'm not being controlled by the situation, I'm letting my emotions be what they are, and that has called me to a greater reliance on God.

I'm usually one to just pull up my boot straps and slap on a smile and tell myself that someone has it worse off then I, so I should

stop feeling sad.  But I'm learning that gratitude and sadness aren't exclusive of one another. They can be felt at the same time.  There is always, always something to be thankful for, but that gratitude doesn't take away my sadness...perhaps that gratitude just directs my sadness towards the One who I am grateful to.

Truce.

Yesterday, we had a spring party.  We had themed food and an egg hunt, silly games and new sunglasses.  It's a family tradition, every year it's something we look forward to.  We celebrate Easter but our spring party gives us an extra chance to do spring the fun spring time things that often get scrunched into Easter.  And yes I used Pinterest to get my ideas.  

I'm not better than you. 

I didn't give much thought to celebrating St. Patrick's Day. I didn't leave notes from a leprechaun of leave a trail of gold coins.  And if you went all out for St. Patrick's day, pulling out all the stops and celebrating for what some think is an insignificant holiday, that's okay.  

I'm not better than you.

Why the comparing friends?  Why?  I'm guilty too.  I fluctuate between feeling like I'm too much and feeling like I'm not enough. 

I just want to be.  Can we all as moms just be and do the best we can in whatever season of life we are in? The judging and comparing is futile.  

Do we really need to scoff at homemade Valentine's or trails of gold coins or hand knit Easter baskets?

Can we celebrate with another without comparing or snickering?
Motherhood is hard enough without the added battles between moms over insignificant things.

Let's make a truce...

A truce to choose to encourage instead of compare,
To extend grace instead of judgement,
To journey together instead of engage in the comparing battle,

To spur one another on to be the best mama's we can be,
Let's encourage each other to invest in our kids, whatever that may look like.
Let's remind each other that we are enough,

For such a time as this, by grace alone we are enough.

Anybody with me?